Introducing the new Mrs. G

Assalamu alaykum everyone,

It's been a while since I posted and I have a confession....a good one. I was busy preparing for my wedding :). Alhamdullilah, I got married earlier this week to a wonderful man MashaAllah , Mr. G.

I'm so sorry for keeping you all in the dark through the whole process and I'll be sure to fill you in with more details later InshaAllah. I don't have internet at home yet so am just sneaking in a quick post from the office, lol.

Psycho crazy wife/ex-wife...are there any normal people out there?

SubhanAllah! This is just dejavu, over the weekend I got an instant message from the brother I mentioned in the polygny thoughts post. He said he had an apology, he said that it wasnt him I was speaking to in the previous conversation...it was his WIFE. OKaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. So apparently she came online using his email, pretended to be him and just picked me out of his friends list to have a talk about wanting two wives. Ya Allah! I don't even want to think about what kind of person would do that.

Now I said dejavu because a couple of years ago, I met a brother online on a muslim marriage website. We were communicating by email and instant massages and things were going pretty well. One day he starts acting weird telling me all sorts of things, that he wasnt good enough for me, that I should find another brother, that his ex wife paid all the bills and that he got her in trouble with the police and lots of crap, so I got upset and told him I couldnt deal with this anymore, he apologized and stuff and that was it. Later I get an e-card like everything is okay. So I send a message asking what kind of crap is this first he's breaking off our relationship, then next he is sending e-cards. Turns out it was his EX-WIFE pretending to be him and sending me messages and email. Why oh why do people give access to their emails to their wives/husbands...especially if they clearly have mental issues....

This is clearly a wake up call to be careful on the internet, chat messages and emails may not be from who you think they are, but from someones crazy wife, or ex-wife or whatever.

Polygny thoughts - Did I mess it up?

A brother who was interested in marrying me over a year ago (it didnt happen), contacted me online today out of the blue. He asked how I was and what I was up to. I had a feeling he was married by now because I saw a pic on facebook, but anyway I didnt ask just yet. So we had a nice conversation, he has made Hijrah now and he asked if I was married. I'm not, so i told him so, and asked if he was. it turns out that he has been married now for a year and has a son, MashaAllah. But....he says he is thinking of having another wife, and wondered what I thought about that (implying me as being the new co-wife).

He says he doesnt know if his wife will accept it.

Now I know nothing is wrong with Polygny, but I tried to put myself in the other sister's shoes, as a new wife, only one year married, new baby, living in a new foreign country.....would I be excited about my husband taking another wife at this time? more than likely, NO, I would not be too thrilled. His reason is that he wants a big family (6 children) and she only wants to have three children. WHOA...I told him to be patient, maybe she would have more than three, and that I thought it was too soon for him to be thinking about another wife right now, and that she might not be too happy with the idea at this time. He thanked me for my advice and that was it.

Did I shoot myself in the foot, or did I do the right thing? I think he is a good Muslim MashaAllah, and Allah Subhana wa ta'ala knows best, so did I sabotage myself? Aaargh, I feel so confused, and today was going so well :-(

Half our deen, the search continues.....

Yes, Yes..I know I know I know........this marriage topic is all played out, we have heard it all before. The worldwide shortage of eligible Muslim men, the overwhelming number of Muslim sisters who can't find a suitable husband, and of course the divorce horror stories.

Here is a summary of a few of my search experiences,

The guy who chatted with me on webcam, but paid more attention to CSI Miami...DURING our conversations, so I mostly just saw the side of his head as he watched TV. Him belching loudly into the microphone and telling me to "get used to it".....NEXT

The guy who dissed me because I was not interested in wearing niqaab (although it is NOT compulsory) .......NEXT

The guy whose first question was "what is your profession?" , and he has no place to live and no stable job....NEXT

The guy who said "I would marry her if she was a little bit younger" ....NEXT

The guy who sounded so desperate, and wanted to get married after speaking to me for a week, he freaked me out .....NEXT

The guy who did not Fast and Pray but said "At least I am Muslim".....NEXT

The guy who was old enough to be my father ...and he already has two other wives (not that theres anything wrong with Polygamy)..but yes...NEXT

The guy who is a 'Practicing Muslim' but plays Guitar (we all know the music debate)....NEXT

The guy who was insistent on his wife covering (and I Do wear hijab) ...but yet he sent me a pic of him wearing shorts and having his arm around the waist of Eryka Badu (who is NOT related to him) and another woman..........NEXT

The guy who divorced his wife (with 5 kids) and refused to tell me the reason...I later found out quite by accident that he had cheated on her......NEXT

The cute guy who could not have an intellectual conversation with me and got into temper tantrums whenever it seemed like I was gonna end our communication.....NEXT

The guy who practically cussed me off, because I have a problem with the Nation of Islam ......NEXT

The guy whose entire conversation was regarding polygamy even though he was NOT married and I had switched the subject numerous times.....NEXT

But at the end of the day.....I don't want to be saying NEXT forever....and although I know there is no one that is perfect, I am yet to find someone I am compatible with. I will continue to make Dua and continue to search..online and offline.

Allah subhana wa ta'ala is the Doer and Istikhara has made things clear for me several times, Alhamdullilah.

I will be patient and content with where I am at but trust me , I'm not putting up with anybodys ignorance and foolishness....so NEXT


The happiness of the son of Adam depends on his being content with what Allah has decreed for him, and the misery of the son of Adam results from his failure to pray istikharah, and the misery of the son of Adam results from in his discontent with what Allah has decreed for him.

Hadith - al-Tirmidhi # 2151. [Classed as saheeh by al-Haakim, 1/699, and al-Dhahabi agreed with him. It was classed as hasan by al-Haafiz ibn Hajar in Fath al-Baari, 11/184]