A brother who was interested in marrying me over a year ago (it didnt happen), contacted me online today out of the blue. He asked how I was and what I was up to. I had a feeling he was married by now because I saw a pic on facebook, but anyway I didnt ask just yet. So we had a nice conversation, he has made Hijrah now and he asked if I was married. I'm not, so i told him so, and asked if he was. it turns out that he has been married now for a year and has a son, MashaAllah. But....he says he is thinking of having another wife, and wondered what I thought about that (implying me as being the new co-wife).
He says he doesnt know if his wife will accept it.
Now I know nothing is wrong with Polygny, but I tried to put myself in the other sister's shoes, as a new wife, only one year married, new baby, living in a new foreign country.....would I be excited about my husband taking another wife at this time? more than likely, NO, I would not be too thrilled. His reason is that he wants a big family (6 children) and she only wants to have three children. WHOA...I told him to be patient, maybe she would have more than three, and that I thought it was too soon for him to be thinking about another wife right now, and that she might not be too happy with the idea at this time. He thanked me for my advice and that was it.
Did I shoot myself in the foot, or did I do the right thing? I think he is a good Muslim MashaAllah, and Allah Subhana wa ta'ala knows best, so did I sabotage myself? Aaargh, I feel so confused, and today was going so well :-(